Cultivating Wisdom Councils

A little practice with a big impact

I have been struggling with time, y’all. Somehow, the spring is upon me, and I feel everything moving at an accelerated pace. Life is bursting forth in fresh flowers and green shoots, and at the same time, I am noticing quicker reactions and more overwhelm and urgency in the people and systems around me.

So, I’m trying to both ride the wave and also resist it. At the very least, I want more than to just catch my breath. I am seeking ways to slow down and breathe deeply, because I know that’s what my nervous system and my work in the world requires, if I am to offer something of generative value in these frenzied times.

Today’s little post is about a simple practice, meant for those of you feeling similarly, and/or for those of you who sense a time like this is coming, and/or just because. Not only can Wisdom Councils provide a moment for some of that slowness and deeper breathing, but they also can help to reshape collaboration and give a boost of support. Think of it as companion planting. Just like the native peoples of the Southwest knew that growing the Three Sisters of beans, corn, and squash together would nurture each plant’s development and well-being, so can these little Wisdom Councils do the same for you.

Wisdom Council was something we came up with at an online Education Transformation Jam a few years ago. The team recognized the incredible multigenerational and global opportunity we had with the folks who had gathered. So we experimented with creating little councils among the group. Each person would get to share their visions and struggles with the others and receive listening ears and tangible ideas in reciprocity.

The practice was simple and built upon another activity that has been popular in Jams for the last 25+ years called Small Group Coaching. In this Jam, after a process of solo visioning, and then personally reflecting on our hopes and intentions, and writing and drawing these on paper, we got into a group with two others. Each person would have 10 minutes, with a few minutes to share whatever they wanted, and the remaining time to receive guidance, suggestions, and support. In about 30 minutes, we would complete the cycle. The Wisdom Council was born!

Because these were initiated online, they could continue far beyond the dates of the Jam, if the people involved chose to do so. My group — Darin, Nooruddin, and me — has been meeting every couple months since July 2022. We gather for about 45 minutes online, and after a short grounding and brief check-ins, we get into the flow. Each of us has about 10 minutes to both share a challenge we are working on and receive ideas and support from the other two. It is amazing, potent and meaningful.

Since we had taken time to build relationships and learn about each other during that Jam and in other spaces, we are able to dive in fully. Each Wisdom Council meeting, we find so much common ground and co-learning together. Often, the challenge that one of us is facing is either directly shared by another, and/or has been worked through by another, and so the insights are spot-on helpful. We’ve worked on time management, conflicts in our lives, what to do next with our life-work, how to deal with challenging individuals, how to expand our reach, and so much more. Each meeting is a gift, a deep breath, and a well of wisdom.

“You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself.

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

- Nelson Mandela

This beautiful quote from Mandela feels like it comes to the heart of it. We are facing our challenges in our Wisdom Council, so that we can operate from hope instead of reacting from fear. I am so moved to have these companions by my side, and I sense they feel the same.

In one of our last calls, Nooruddin shared with us his idea to encourage Wisdom Councils in many of the other places he engages in Pakistan — in the senior center where he volunteers, in his religious community, at his workplace, in his library network — where there are pre-existing relationships that could be deepened by this practice, and/or where the intention is to build new relationships of reciprocity and mutual growth. I love this idea, and hope this post can serve to expand it even more.

If you’re interested, here are a few key elements to consider when putting together your own Wisdom Council:

1. Make time to know each other’s stories and journeys before you drop in with challenges; caring relationships are the soil for this companion planting.

2. Aim for diversity in age, identities, experiences, locations, etc., in the group. The more distinct each person is, often the richer the field of growth and learning among you.

3. Set mutual agreements with each other, such as confidentiality, respectful listening, full presence, and full choice (in terms of how much is shared and what is asked for in return — reflections, advice, simple witness, etc.) Setting and sharing your intentions for being a part of the Wisdom Council is also a good practice, so you don’t end up struggling with invisible and unmet expectations.

4. Check to see what regularity with which you want to meet. Where will you feel both continuity and also spaciousness? Likely, every three weeks to two months is a good rhythm, and see what works best for your specific group. A group size of 3 or 4 is probably easiest for scheduling and ensuring everyone has time to share.

If you do experiment with a Wisdom Council in your own life, I would love to hear how it goes! And/or if you already have one, please share about it with us in the comments. Here’s to more companions of mutual nurturance in all of our lives in these ever-shifting times.