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Richard Brady's avatar

Here is one response to the challenge of giving feedback: As a high school math teacher in a highly competitive private school, I was aware of the importance of grades to both students and parents. I sent home quarterly reports to the parents, the first and third being “progress” reports, the second and fourth with semester grades. I labored over the feedback I wrote for all of them, not knowing what value, if any, it might have for the students (or their parents). Because these reports always took a long time for me to write, I had difficulty completing them “on time.” Eventually, this got me into trouble with the administration, and I turned over a new leaf. I began completing them as much as a week early. In a moment of inspiration, I realized I now had the opportunity to share these “draft” comments with the students and ask for their feedback. Most students gave no responses, but I had a sense that they had carefully read my comments. Others wrote notes of appreciation. Still others responded by asking for clarification, explaining things they felt I’d not correctly perceived, or requesting that I comment on things they felt important but which my comments overlooked. In these last cases, I invariably rewrote my comments. Thanking all the students for taking time to reflect on my comments, I felt a new level of trust in my classes.

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Carolyn North's avatar

Thanks, again, Shilpa for your always welcome wisdom, always on the button, and I always have a similar question: What to do in the non-JAM world, where feedback is often greeted with hurt and anger, and counter "insults." Lately, I have been trying to stay balanced with someone I care for a lot, who protects himself by insulting me. I remind him of his mother...etc. I step away, I read about personality disorders, I "understand" his problem, try and recognize my own...etc. but frankly I am afraid of him. He can hurt me, and knows how. He happens to live in my small community, so unless one of us moves out, I have to figure this out. And not be afraid of him. Mostly, I try and avoid him, but if we all did this, we'd all be back to square One. Sigh...What might you advise?

Carolyn North

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