Thanks for sharing this Richard! May our mistakes allow us to risk absurdity, and may we remember that almost all of them are not risking our physical death so much, but more of our ego death :)
Shilpa, your entries and comments so often speak to me of worldview, the glasses we're given at birth, the new ones we've traded old ones for, and the ones we aspire to wear. It seems there are many very unhealthy worldviews around these days. I feel graced to receive your mature worldview and those of many of your friends on this Substack site. I share below a powerful worldview from one of my favorite poets Rainer Maria Rilke.
Mistakes are not the problem in my view. Tolerance for feelings of shame is where I need to practice. Shame is an organic design that keeps us connected to groups. It’s serves as a survival strategy for times when we depend in a group body in order to live. I am shame averse and struck by my hidden strategies to avoid shame. I have no problem making mistakes in art. Relationships are different. Softening and moving beyond my feelings of shame helps me open to truth and reparation. Thanks again Shilpa for diving deep!
Yes, thank you for this Cynthia. The shame that comes up in making mistakes in relationships can be hard, and yet most of our 'mistakes' as you rightly point out, are survival strategies. Softening is the key for healing the shame and repairing the relationships. I also love that you point out 'mistakes' in art -- which I have heard from many artists, are often the thing that led to their best art. :) So maybe that's another place we can draw inspiration from. Who know what new worlds we can open to when we release the shame and let the 'mistake' take us to a new place?
‘Soften the soil’ ~ this read is full of nourishment and encouragement . It feeds the seed of becoming more authentic and in step with self and surroundings.
Thank you for both of your comments Gråinne! I love the connection between authenticity and making mistakes. That feels so spot on, as I want to be real, more than I want to be perfect. <3
This is so important to say, and you said it so well, Shilps! I just shared this with a good friend who’s going through a tricky conflict with a close friend.
The challenging part is getting enough distance from your own story to recognize, acknowledge and own your mistake! Sometimes you’re so dug in that it’s hard to notice it. There’s such a beautiful shift when you do tho :)
Thanks so much for sharing it, Eli! And yes, how do you get that distance from your own story and stop digging in? I've heard it said that I can be right or I can be in relationship. It's helpful for me to notice when I want to badly to be right -- then I know I need to let go and see the connection instead. Some extra deep breaths help too. :)
Reading this post, my mind flashed back to high school and my newly discovered favorite poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti, who left us in 2021 at age 101.
Constantly Risking Absurdity(#15)
Constantly risking absurdity
and death
whenever he performs
above the heads
of his audience
The poet like an acrobat
climbs on rime
to a high wire of his own making
and balancing on eyebeams
above a sea of faces
paces his way
to the other side of day
performing entrechats
and sleight-of-foot tricks
and other high theatrics
and all without mistaking
anything
for what it may not be
For he's the super realist
who must perforce perceive
taut truth
before the taking of each stance or step
in his supposed advance
toward that still higher perch
where Beauty stands and waits
with gravity
to start her death-defying leap
And he
a little charleychaplin man
who may or may not catch
her fair eternal form
spreadeagled in the empty air
of existence.
Lawrence Ferlinghetti from A Coney Island of the Mind: Poems copyright 1958
Many Charley Chaplin-like smiles,
Richard
Thanks for sharing this Richard! May our mistakes allow us to risk absurdity, and may we remember that almost all of them are not risking our physical death so much, but more of our ego death :)
Shilpa, your entries and comments so often speak to me of worldview, the glasses we're given at birth, the new ones we've traded old ones for, and the ones we aspire to wear. It seems there are many very unhealthy worldviews around these days. I feel graced to receive your mature worldview and those of many of your friends on this Substack site. I share below a powerful worldview from one of my favorite poets Rainer Maria Rilke.
Go to the Limits of Your Longing
by Rainer Maria Rilke
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
Book of Hours, I 59
One of my favorites by Rilke! Thank you Richard!
Mistakes are not the problem in my view. Tolerance for feelings of shame is where I need to practice. Shame is an organic design that keeps us connected to groups. It’s serves as a survival strategy for times when we depend in a group body in order to live. I am shame averse and struck by my hidden strategies to avoid shame. I have no problem making mistakes in art. Relationships are different. Softening and moving beyond my feelings of shame helps me open to truth and reparation. Thanks again Shilpa for diving deep!
Yes, thank you for this Cynthia. The shame that comes up in making mistakes in relationships can be hard, and yet most of our 'mistakes' as you rightly point out, are survival strategies. Softening is the key for healing the shame and repairing the relationships. I also love that you point out 'mistakes' in art -- which I have heard from many artists, are often the thing that led to their best art. :) So maybe that's another place we can draw inspiration from. Who know what new worlds we can open to when we release the shame and let the 'mistake' take us to a new place?
‘Soften the soil’ ~ this read is full of nourishment and encouragement . It feeds the seed of becoming more authentic and in step with self and surroundings.
‘Soften the soil’ ~ this read feels so healthy and nourishing. Bringing kindness and gentleness to our mistakes and to that of others. Super!
Thank you for both of your comments Gråinne! I love the connection between authenticity and making mistakes. That feels so spot on, as I want to be real, more than I want to be perfect. <3
i enjoyed having the option to read or to hear your voice ... i did both 🙃
Thanks Pancho! I'm going to go back later this week and voice record the other posts. I just learned about that in time for this one. :)
This is so important to say, and you said it so well, Shilps! I just shared this with a good friend who’s going through a tricky conflict with a close friend.
The challenging part is getting enough distance from your own story to recognize, acknowledge and own your mistake! Sometimes you’re so dug in that it’s hard to notice it. There’s such a beautiful shift when you do tho :)
Thanks so much for sharing it, Eli! And yes, how do you get that distance from your own story and stop digging in? I've heard it said that I can be right or I can be in relationship. It's helpful for me to notice when I want to badly to be right -- then I know I need to let go and see the connection instead. Some extra deep breaths help too. :)