Love this and knowing someone else who has downplayed their connection to Harvard. What struck me was how some of the slights I experienced during college were totally forgotten (or remembered but without negative feelings about the individuals) when I came across people I hadn't seen for 25+ years. We were 18-22 year olds who didn't know any better, and were probably conditioned to make it appear that we had it all together even if we were struggling. That approach might have continued for another decade or so, and well, now we're all like "yeah, that hasn't been working out so well. it's time to be honest."
Beautiful story Shilpa! Thank you for sharing! I’m so happy to hear of this integration you were able to experience. I’ve felt the exact same way about my time at Harvard, that I’ve spent my life since trying to unlearn much of it. The Jams I participated in were certainly a balm to my soul after all that culture of achievement grind and success-chasing. We lost two people in my extended circles to suicide while I was a student there. Their deaths had a profoundly traumatic impact on several people close to me. It’s really sad to see how that culture contributes to so much harm. I actually avoided my own college reunions because the feelings associated with all the pressure to perform, masking, lack of vulnerability etc etc were too overwhelming for me to navigate at the time. You’ve inspired me with your story to consider going back to a future reunion and bringing the healing energy of the Jam along with me ❤️ sending so much love to you!
Shilpa, thanks for sharing your experience. I went to Harvard for divinity school and we sure could have benefited from a Jam (or many). I also see the yearning for authentic connection and shared vulnerability among folks who labor under heavy expectations of “success” and achievement. We all crave acknowledgment and belonging--the hallmarks of the Jam. So let’s keep bringing Jam energy wherever we go.
So true, Leaf! Thank you for sharing that. The Jam actually feels like a healing balm to that pressure to 'succeed' and 'be something' -- being loved for simply existing instead of needing to prove. I hope this medicine can grow in our world. It will help with so many dimensions of transformation.
Thanks so much Pancho! I did share it out on my class facebook group and got a lovely response from folks. I am happy to hear your editorial suggestions, though! And sorry for the delay - I have been traveling and a little full up these last few weeks. :)
This is beautiful and moving. Thank you for this reminder that as we make room for grief we also make room for more joy. Have you seen Bittersweet by Susan Cain. I'm loving it. Love to you.
Shilpa, your work sounds wonderful! Going to follow you here and find out more. This is a beautiful description of what happened last weekend. And as you say, may it continue.
Shilpa, Thank you so much for your courageous writing and for coming out with more of your formational story. It is so important for our collective body wisdom that we each stand with equinimity and honesty in our living truth. I admire and acknowledge the tense interface of privileged elite education and the growing engagement in a more organic educational wisdom. I acknowledge the formidable cost to "privileged" bodies that choose to maintain artificial imbalances of power. And! As you more than know, restoring earth based wisdom in our dancerly, jammy lives requires those of us with agency and access to power to move publically in new ways. May your experience at your reunion be one of 1000's such moments. As for me, I know the story of Harvard's formation. My ancestral family includes Anne Hutchinson, an English woman and mother, who lost a child in the pandemic of her day. She was educated by her father, a clergyman under house arrest in East England for resisting authoritarian church and governmental models. She and our family members (including my 18 year old grandfather) came to Boston in the 1630's as part of the puritan wave, many escaping persecution. Before long, Anne was put under house arrest in Boston, tried by foaming-at-the-mouth clergymen , and banished from Massachusetts along with her extended family of "Hutchinsonians" To top it off she was excommunicated from the congregational church, the only viable community support system of her day. Her trial is recorded. Alongside her stood Mary Dyer, Quaker, later martyred. Anne is a founding mother whose story is rarely told. She was a midwife, herbalist, and ensouled person who built bridges with indigenous neighbors and rallied for resistance when Bostonians were ordered to take arms against the Pequot. The Pequot War is considered a turning point in the volatile, intentional genocide on first people. Anne's power incited members of the white male clergy to create Harvard, an institution designed to properly train male clergy and keep such power in check. ------ As an artist and embodied systems designer I know that the roots of any creation inform the creation until ends or begins again. An improvisation carries the initiating seed. It takes the formal acknowledgement in the bodies of the people who carry the seed can change the DNA and way of moving in an "organ" -ization. Sharing the mental health impacts of Harvard alumni is key. As you and I both know the Great Turning invites us to integrate (collide?) with our story and the will to heed the wisdom of body and earth that always calls us to begin again. So many stories and dances are to come! From my generational context the song I hear is "Could we Start Again Please" from Jesus Christ Superstar- 1973. So so grateful for you Shilpa!
Thank you for sharing all of this dear Cynthia, and especially the story of Anne. Talk about worlds colliding -- and the loss/decimation/attack upon ways of life rooted in nature, soul, body wisdom, in favor of institutions of power and the mind. Yes, for all of the integration and welcoming ourselves forward to the next beginning. Grateful for you!!!
Wowowowow. I don’t think I truly appreciated before reading this how much you felt like there were these two separate parts of your self that hadn’t yet been integrated. It’s beautiful. We’re all still trying to do some of this in all of our own separate ways. I love that it can sometimes happen when we aren’t expecting it!
Yes! Me too! Thank you for all the ways you are doing it to, Eli! Proud of you and proud of us and what we made possible all together in this last week. <3
I felt you at every word and I could almost see the brave souls in the panel sharing their hearts Vulnerably ♥️thank you for the powerful sharing and these messages, so affirming for me and the world I want to keep growing towards 🌺 Gracias 🙏🏼
Ha! I love 'You can take Shilpa out of the Jams, but you can't take the Jams out of Shilpa'! That cracked me up. And, yes, it's true. :)
I understand what you're saying. I don't think I have capacity, nor much interest, right now to think about a Harvard Jam, per se. And, I appreciate the idea! And appreciate you!
Love this and knowing someone else who has downplayed their connection to Harvard. What struck me was how some of the slights I experienced during college were totally forgotten (or remembered but without negative feelings about the individuals) when I came across people I hadn't seen for 25+ years. We were 18-22 year olds who didn't know any better, and were probably conditioned to make it appear that we had it all together even if we were struggling. That approach might have continued for another decade or so, and well, now we're all like "yeah, that hasn't been working out so well. it's time to be honest."
Yes, exactly, Dominique! It's time to be honest - and break that conditioning. Appreciate you sharing! I wish we got time together at reunion! :)
Beautiful story Shilpa! Thank you for sharing! I’m so happy to hear of this integration you were able to experience. I’ve felt the exact same way about my time at Harvard, that I’ve spent my life since trying to unlearn much of it. The Jams I participated in were certainly a balm to my soul after all that culture of achievement grind and success-chasing. We lost two people in my extended circles to suicide while I was a student there. Their deaths had a profoundly traumatic impact on several people close to me. It’s really sad to see how that culture contributes to so much harm. I actually avoided my own college reunions because the feelings associated with all the pressure to perform, masking, lack of vulnerability etc etc were too overwhelming for me to navigate at the time. You’ve inspired me with your story to consider going back to a future reunion and bringing the healing energy of the Jam along with me ❤️ sending so much love to you!
Thank you Luz! Appreciate you sharing all of this. Glad it resonated, and glad you are considering going to your reunion. Let's JAM it up! <3
thank you Lucy. Bowing to your journey. I wrote a response above.
Shilpa, thanks for sharing your experience. I went to Harvard for divinity school and we sure could have benefited from a Jam (or many). I also see the yearning for authentic connection and shared vulnerability among folks who labor under heavy expectations of “success” and achievement. We all crave acknowledgment and belonging--the hallmarks of the Jam. So let’s keep bringing Jam energy wherever we go.
So true, Leaf! Thank you for sharing that. The Jam actually feels like a healing balm to that pressure to 'succeed' and 'be something' -- being loved for simply existing instead of needing to prove. I hope this medicine can grow in our world. It will help with so many dimensions of transformation.
hi shilpa
this article is soooo damn good !
and its worth celebrating when worlds come together . Momentus !
so here is my suggestion :
i would edit 5% of that last article ,
and send it out to the 500 people who were part of that last reunion .
with an invitation to the "Harvard Jam"
(and a request to send this article and invite to 3 other Harvard Alumni's not on that list)
"something was forged within me, and it was deeply healing. I am excited to see where we go from here."
PS. my dad went to Harvard , so i feel like i have been dealing with Harvard expectations my whole life .
and if you're interested , i've got suggestions on those 5% edits ... 😎
Thanks so much Pancho! I did share it out on my class facebook group and got a lovely response from folks. I am happy to hear your editorial suggestions, though! And sorry for the delay - I have been traveling and a little full up these last few weeks. :)
This is beautiful and moving. Thank you for this reminder that as we make room for grief we also make room for more joy. Have you seen Bittersweet by Susan Cain. I'm loving it. Love to you.
Yes, thank you Kelsey! My friend recommended it to me and I need to check it out more deeply. Sending love to you!
Thanks so much for sharing, Shilpa! — Chandler
Thanks so much for reading Chandler!
Shilpa, your work sounds wonderful! Going to follow you here and find out more. This is a beautiful description of what happened last weekend. And as you say, may it continue.
Thank you so much Erin! And thank you for everything you brought to the weekend. Appreciate you!
Beautiful piece Shilpa. Missed you at the Reunion.
Thank you Guha! Missed you too! <3
Shilpa woooooooohhhhhhhhoooooooo !!!
That feels like a breakthrough !!!
i have a suggestion thats ringing in my ears .... would you like to hear it ? 😎
Thanks Pancho!
And, sure, happy to hear your suggestion.
Shilpa, Thank you so much for your courageous writing and for coming out with more of your formational story. It is so important for our collective body wisdom that we each stand with equinimity and honesty in our living truth. I admire and acknowledge the tense interface of privileged elite education and the growing engagement in a more organic educational wisdom. I acknowledge the formidable cost to "privileged" bodies that choose to maintain artificial imbalances of power. And! As you more than know, restoring earth based wisdom in our dancerly, jammy lives requires those of us with agency and access to power to move publically in new ways. May your experience at your reunion be one of 1000's such moments. As for me, I know the story of Harvard's formation. My ancestral family includes Anne Hutchinson, an English woman and mother, who lost a child in the pandemic of her day. She was educated by her father, a clergyman under house arrest in East England for resisting authoritarian church and governmental models. She and our family members (including my 18 year old grandfather) came to Boston in the 1630's as part of the puritan wave, many escaping persecution. Before long, Anne was put under house arrest in Boston, tried by foaming-at-the-mouth clergymen , and banished from Massachusetts along with her extended family of "Hutchinsonians" To top it off she was excommunicated from the congregational church, the only viable community support system of her day. Her trial is recorded. Alongside her stood Mary Dyer, Quaker, later martyred. Anne is a founding mother whose story is rarely told. She was a midwife, herbalist, and ensouled person who built bridges with indigenous neighbors and rallied for resistance when Bostonians were ordered to take arms against the Pequot. The Pequot War is considered a turning point in the volatile, intentional genocide on first people. Anne's power incited members of the white male clergy to create Harvard, an institution designed to properly train male clergy and keep such power in check. ------ As an artist and embodied systems designer I know that the roots of any creation inform the creation until ends or begins again. An improvisation carries the initiating seed. It takes the formal acknowledgement in the bodies of the people who carry the seed can change the DNA and way of moving in an "organ" -ization. Sharing the mental health impacts of Harvard alumni is key. As you and I both know the Great Turning invites us to integrate (collide?) with our story and the will to heed the wisdom of body and earth that always calls us to begin again. So many stories and dances are to come! From my generational context the song I hear is "Could we Start Again Please" from Jesus Christ Superstar- 1973. So so grateful for you Shilpa!
Thank you for sharing all of this dear Cynthia, and especially the story of Anne. Talk about worlds colliding -- and the loss/decimation/attack upon ways of life rooted in nature, soul, body wisdom, in favor of institutions of power and the mind. Yes, for all of the integration and welcoming ourselves forward to the next beginning. Grateful for you!!!
Wowowowow. I don’t think I truly appreciated before reading this how much you felt like there were these two separate parts of your self that hadn’t yet been integrated. It’s beautiful. We’re all still trying to do some of this in all of our own separate ways. I love that it can sometimes happen when we aren’t expecting it!
Yes! Me too! Thank you for all the ways you are doing it to, Eli! Proud of you and proud of us and what we made possible all together in this last week. <3
I felt you at every word and I could almost see the brave souls in the panel sharing their hearts Vulnerably ♥️thank you for the powerful sharing and these messages, so affirming for me and the world I want to keep growing towards 🌺 Gracias 🙏🏼
Gracias querida! <3
If you want to see some pictures from the reunion, check out - https://www.facebook.com/groups/52639200248/permalink/10167753126080249/
hi Shilpa
the edits were specifically if you wanted to use it to invite alumni to the "harvard jam"
and i suggest it cos of some guess work
~ the harvard substack was particularly sonorous
~ your 2 worlds coming together
~ you might be looking for a next career step-up
~ you can take shilpa out of the jams , but you can't take the jam out of shilpa .
i'm also guessing that my suggestion doesn't seem to have struck a chord with you . or maybe it landed outside your stretch zone .
i'm happy to say more if there is interest
Ha! I love 'You can take Shilpa out of the Jams, but you can't take the Jams out of Shilpa'! That cracked me up. And, yes, it's true. :)
I understand what you're saying. I don't think I have capacity, nor much interest, right now to think about a Harvard Jam, per se. And, I appreciate the idea! And appreciate you!